Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Crap Writers Say

     *Disclaimer: I don't swear, so I'm using the word "crap".*
     It started with Crap My Dad Says. Then those videos of that guy dressed as a girl doing, Crap Girls Say. Then there was Crap Agents Say.
     What about Crap Writers Say?
     Since I've got no acting or video-ing skills, I'm going to write this all down. But someone should make a video.
     Have you said any of these before? (I know I have.)

What do you mean, show don't tell?
Is this showing?
I've got too many adverbs.
This book is awesome, I wish I could write like this.
This book sucks, mine is way better.
If he can get published then so can I.
I'll never get published.
She's my dream agent.
I've checked my email like twenty times today.
My query sucks.
My synopsis sucks.
What do you mean I can't do a prologue?
What genre is this?
Can I say paranormal urban fantasy with a romantic twist?
I got another rejection.
Why did I get rejected?
Is my word count too long?
I can't think of a title.
My title sucks.
I got a full request!
Please let the agent love me.
Why doesn't this agent love me?
I swear I'm not stalking this agent of twitter.
Hold on, I've just gotta check twitter.
Hold on, I've gotta check my email.
What's the difference between a critique partner and a beta reader?
I need a beta reader.
Will you be my beta reader?
I've gotta stop playing spider solitaire and write.
I've gotta stop watching tv and write.
I never have enough time to write.
I wrote like, two thousand words today!
I wrote like, one sentence, and that's it.
Do I have too many dialogue tags?
My character rocks.
My description here is lame.
Does this make sense?
Can you read this and tell me if it makes sense?
Should I have a comma here?
I'm tired of revising.
I need to revise again.
I'm so excited about my new WIP!


  1. Hahahahah……I am so guilty of a majority of these! Great list!

  2. Made me laugh! I have the video camera and editing software, but no acting skills either.

  3. Ha! That's awesome. I've said almost all of these, especially "If he can get published so can I" and "I can't think of a title" Lol.

  4. HA! That was so funny. And, yes, I've said just about all those phrases. :)

    Thanks for sharing,

  5. Hahaha! I think I've said probably most of the phrases on this list at one time or another, some more than the rest. :-)

  6. Funny! I think all of us have said most of those things a time or two!

  7. I've definitely said a lot of those, very funny! :)

  8. If I could have a nickel for each time one of those quotes have rattled off my tongue... ;)

    Cute post,