Monday, September 5, 2011

Flash Fiction

     The first challenge for the platform campaign is today. Flash fiction, 200 words or less, starting with, "the door swung open". I'm kind of in a hurry all of a sudden, so here's my entry with no edits, 200 words exactly, and I didn't manage to end with "the door swung shut". Oh well. I tried.



The door swung open and I bounced into the room. I couldn’t believe I was actually here. Finally. My moment had arrived.

It was dark in the theatre and I stumbled a little in my excitement to get down to the stage. Four people sat along the front row, papers stacked on a table in front of them. As I passed, I glanced at the topmost paper and saw myself grinning up at the four strangers. Man, I looked good in that picture.

I climbed the steps and headed to the middle of the stage, positioning myself right under the spotlight.

“Cassie Frank?” a man asked without looking up.

“Yep, that’s me!” I shouted.

Okay, I needed to calm down a little.

“It says here you’ve been in Hairspray, Chicago, Cats, and Mamma Mia.”

It didn’t sound like a question but I answered anyway. “Yes, that’s right.”

“But always in the chorus.”

I licked my lips. “Yes.”

He peered at me over the paper. I forced myself to hold still under his gaze. The other three at the table weren’t even looking at me.

I gathered my courage, lifted my chin and said, “I’m perfect for the lead. Just listen.”


44 comments:

  1. Very nice :) So many of the other ones were so dark (can't exclude myself...) but this was so light and full of hope. I liked where you chose to end it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm with Miss Cole, hoping she gets the part. This was very enjoyable and made me grin.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nothing like nerves before a tryout. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like it. I can really feel how nervous she is.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Awww Cassie seems sweet. I hope she gets the lead :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love it! I could completely feel her bubbling excitement. Great job with the challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awww! This is great! I love the sense of confidence! I am locked into the story and crossing my fingers for her!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Optimism and show tunes! I like it :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Melanie, fellow campaigner here thanks for joining me at the well. I love your story and Cassie's confidence cracked me up- when she said "man I look good in that picture!" Love it. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  10. How do I turn your music off? I can't figure out how. It makes me rush to get off the site, the music drives me nuts. I know, I know, normal people like music. To me its fingernails on a blackboard. How do you turn it off?

    Nice opener. I'd put a little more punch earlier but I like to rush my climax. :)

    Tirz

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sorry about the music, I think you can just click on the pause button on the playlist. It looks like an 11. If not turn your speakers down. I've worried about annoying people with it but it's my WIP playlist and I listen to it when I'm writing.

    Thanks everyone for your comments!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great voice. I really felt like I was standing on the stage next to Cassie, and I reeeeeaaaalllly want her to get the part! :D

    ReplyDelete
  13. I really like this! I hope you do great in the challenge! I also wanted to say hi from the Sisterhood!

    ♥ Mary Mary

    ReplyDelete
  14. I like her confidence and I am rooting for her too;)

    ReplyDelete
  15. I enjoyed reading that. Hope she gets the part!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I like the confidence she exudes even when feeling anxious. I'm #72

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great job. You really pulled me in with Cassie's exuberance and confidence.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is so unique--never thought about this scenario as a tryout! Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love this piece and LOVE your main character. She's so spunky and full of hope. Fantastic job!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Cassie is a very likable character! Nice job!

    ReplyDelete
  21. brave girl! i hope she gets the part!
    good flash!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I really liked this! It was so hopeful compared to a lot of the other stories. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  23. This is great! I love that it's upbeat and happy, and especially the moment when she admits to only being in the chorus of the other productions but then is out to prove her stuff. Hooray!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Loved her enthusiasm - she should get the part! I'm a new follower:)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Confident girl! I'd give her the part for showing some guts. Great dialoguing, Melanie! :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. I like how you captured the excitement this character feels. Nice entry! :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Fellow Canadian Platform Campaigner here...lending my support!

    Now I want to hear her sing!

    Nice blog. Read the 'about me' section. I've got some spare leopard lips if you like!

    Stobby

    ReplyDelete
  28. Rooting for the chorus girl! Great job with this!

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is cute. She is being confident and bold, I hope she gets her dream!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hi there. It's nice to meet you, and I'm looking forward to being on the campaign trail together.

    That's a very fun flash piece. I loved the sense of energy and excitement from the main character, as well as the perfect ending. Sometimes you'd just be stupid to go for the bonus point rules. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Aww, I like her excitement and optimism. And in 200 words you had me hoping she gets the part.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Nicely done. I really felt the theater, and the hope tinged with anxiety and determination. Dialogue was good too.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Completely different from everyone else...I really felt like I was in the theatre!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Great story! The voice was strong and I was rooting for her.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hey! You've been shortlisted in the first level of the challenge. You are now on to Round 2 of 4!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Congrats on making it to round 2! Great story. There is nothing like the feeling of being on stage. You captured it well :)

    ReplyDelete
  37. This was cool - I love the character's exuberance! She deserves the win!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I enjoyed this. I hope the audition goes well.

    I'm hopping over from the campaign. Have a great weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Nice job on the dialogue. I enjoyed reading your post.

    ReplyDelete
  40. This is great fun! Great post! Following back!

    ReplyDelete