I felt a little depressed yesterday after my writer's courses. Not that they were discouraging or anything like that because they weren't at all. Mostly I think it was just the reality of it all. I sit at home at my computer and write and edit and dream that everyone will fall in love with the world and characters that I've created- just like I have. Learning about the business of writing- marketing, publishing, etc- just reminds me that this is a business. And a tough one. I know I've said it before but it's something that I constantly forget.
Last night I watched the movie Fame (the recent one). What a good idea that turned out to be. It helped to motivate me and bring my spirits back up. Not that I'm trying to be "famous", but trying to be a published author is similar, and just as hard, as trying to be an actor, singer, dancer, etc. In the movie certain characters realize their dreams, and others have their dreams crushed. You'd think that might bring me down but it didn't. It was just another reminder to keep trying. That dreaming isn't enough- you have to DO. I know that even if I DO, that might not mean things will happen, but at least I can look back and say, I DID.
There was one particular quote that really got me though, and I had to pause the movie to write it down. I want to share it because it really spoke to me:
Everything you're ashamed of,
All the parts of yourself you keep secret,
Everything you want to change about yourself;
It's who you are.
That's your power.
Deny it and you are nothing.
Let me tell you, there's a lot I don't like about myself. There's a lot I try to hide, to keep secret. I need to use it, channel it, write it. I think that even if I never get where I want to be, at least I will have learned about myself along the way. I will have done my absolute best. And if I haven't realized my dreams- hopefully I'll have realized my full potential.