Struggles

  
     My mom was here last week so I didn't do a lot of writing or blogging. What I did do was a lot of shopping. Thankfully my list of christmas gifts to buy is dwindling slowly. Just a few more to go...
     As I was on the treadmill this morning, I was struck with how inconsistent I am. I set goals for myself and I'll do really good for awhile and then boom- I've fallen off the wagon. Or sometimes I'll think, ok I've got this one in the bag- it's easy for me now to do this thing every day- so I'll start with a new goal. But with the new goal, the one I thought I had down before starts to slide. Why is that? Why can't we get used to doing something and then gradually add new goals until our days become the full and productive things we aim for?
     For example- exercise. I'll go for a week, a month, a few months, exercising at least three times a week. And then something happens and suddenly, I'm no longer doing it. Or my writing, I'll write for a few hours every day and then all of a sudden- I'm not writing anymore. And then there's my eating habits. They used to be good. Last year I lost a little over 20 pounds and kept if off for awhile. And then gradually my healthy eating habits disappeared and I'm racking my brain trying to figure out how I got here and how I can get back to where I was.
     I feel like I had everything right last year- or even just a few months ago. So what happened?
     I wonder if maybe I struggled just as much before but I just don't remember. Maybe I only remember the results. Maybe I worked through my struggles to get the good results. Maybe I'm just not working hard enough.
     With a new year just around the corner, a part of me just wants to forget it all for the next month and a half and start afresh in January. But I know that it will be a lot easier in the new year if I already have good habits in place. (And I don't even want to imagine what my weight would be if I let it all go for that long. Yikes.)
     Somehow, I have to remember, or figure out all over again, or find a new way of doing things the right way. I have to get back to that place where I feel like I'm accomplishing my goals. It's hard to think sometimes that it will always be a struggle. But I guess that's why people say 'life is hard'. It's never just an uphill journey. You might get to the top and then a little bit later you find yourself sliding down without knowing what the heck happened to knock you off that peak.
     But that's what makes it life, right? The ups, the downs, the struggles, the rewards. Slogging through the tough times and enjoying the great moments. It's not always easy, but it's definitely worth it.