So I went to my first jazz class last night. I'm taking it downtown Calgary at Decidedly Jazz Danceworks. Let me just say I was sooo nervous all day yesterday. On my way there I honestly had abdominal pains- like PMS cramps. Only they weren't cramps- they were purely nerves!
(And no- this is not me by the way. Ha! This is courtesy of the DJD website.)
Of course, all my nervousness and freaking out and scaredy-cat-ness was a total waste of time. The class was great! I had a really fun time and no- they didn't kick me out because I was so terrible. It was the perfect mix of not too easy but not too hard either. And it was a great workout. I am so glad I signed up and I'm already thinking of doing another class starting january.
You know what my main problem was though? I am so totally inhibited. It's ridiculous. I know I can dance- moderately well at least- and that I don't look like a fool when I do- most of the time- so what is my problem? Why did I get all worried about what the other people in the class would think of me or that I would look stupid?
It reminds me of waaay back when I'd go to Youth or YSA dances. Before the dance I would blast music in my room and dance around like crazy while putting on my makeup (not at the same time- hello mascara in the eyeball!), so excited for the dance to come. Sometimes that sort of free attitude would stay with me at the dance and I would have a great time. In fact, that's how I was when me and my husband first sort of got together at a YSA dance.
Sometimes, though, I would get to the dance and lose all that carefree spirit. It's like, Phwump- it would all go inside me and I would just be there. I remember one in particular- I was at BYU and it was homecoming I think. I got all dressed up and so did the guy I went with who I was sort of dating at the time. There he was at the dance doing all these silly moves like "the grocery cart" and "the sprinkler". And what did I do? I just stood there. Like a fool. Is it any wonder that the guy dumped me the next day? (Although not without a total MO session after the dance. Guys! Geesh) I remember thinking at the time- What is my problem? Why won't I dance? I'm a good dancer!
I did have fun last night, and I did get into the steps- somewhat. But I watched some of the other students in the class and there were a couple of people who would just give 'er and I thought, why can't I do that? Why can't I dance like no one is watching?
So I hereby make this vow: That I will no longer be so inhibited. And that I will dance like no one is watching- in my jazz class, and in life.
Good luck with that Mel.