I Definitely Ain't No New York Times Book Reviewer

     I've realized that I'm a terrible book reviewer. Which is funny because I used to think that I should be a movie reviewer. I hate reading reviews from hoity-toity reviewers who despise all the really good blockbuster movies but love those ones that are so slow or awful for whatever reason. Example: they slam Transformers, but love The Hours. I've seen both, and Transformers wins, hands down, in my opinion. I mean, come on, the way those cars transform into giant robots is cool! Staring at Nicole Kidman's huge fake schnoz- not so much. Which I think is the general opinion of the masses (not everyone of course). So I always thought I should be a reviewer for "the people".
     Well I suck at reviews. Especially book reviews. Here's the problem- I get so caught up in the story that I'm not really paying attention to much else. I've tried during my latest Twilight and Harry Potter readings to slow down and really analyze why I like those books. It never works. I end up getting so lost in the story that I've finished the book and I'm left thinking, "whoops, why do I love it? who knows?"
     I've realized that this could be a problem with my writing. I love story and characters. Rarely do I stop reading in a book and think, wow that was a really good sentence. So when I write, I do the same thing. I don't like to sit there and think of ingenious or literary ways to say "I feel sick". Instead I want to know why does the character feel sick, what is he/she going to do about it.
     I think really great writers probably do both. Tell a great story with the ingenious writing. That's something for me to work on, to reach towards. To tell the story in a way that only I can tell it, not in a generic fashion. Which is why we edit, right? The first draft is telling the story. The later drafts are to help it stand out, not be generic. To fix those blah sentences like "I feel sick" and make them more meaningful. Writing is tough, there's no going around it. Telling the story is easy. But writing...

     Anyway, I read "Intertwined" by Gena Showalter this week. It's paranormal with vampires, werewolves, and powers. In most books the male and female main characters feel inexplicably and powerfully "drawn" to each other which leads to their inevitable romance. Well, not in this book. While the main characters do feel "drawn" to each other, it's more in a brother/sister kind of way and I found that refreshing. Although later both main characters do feel that inexplicable draw to two other people (er, creatures). Sigh. It seems that a lot of YA books have that these days- the powerful unknown force that draws the boy and girl together. I hate to say that I think it's getting a little overused and while I didn't use that in my own book, I hope I don't even have one sentence saying Jessica is "drawn" to Alric. I'm getting a little sick of it. Just saying.
     Actually, I think I need to step away from the whole paranormal thing for awhile. I don't think it's the writing of any of the books I've read, I think I've just become oversaturated. I need to read something different. Which I'm not. I'm reading City of Fallen Angels, by Cassandra Clare. Ah well.
     See what I mean about being a bad reviewer? Did I even really say anything about the book? Not so much. The book's ok. Yeah. 3 out of 5 stars. Go me.

Harry Potter Mania

   
     Can I just say how excited I am for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2! I can't wait. I watched the preview this morning and actually got tears in my eyes. So okay, I'm kind of a dork, but I CAN'T WAIT! Not only for the movie, but I always re-read the series when a movie comes out so I'm excited to read the books again (yes for at least the 7th time). Sadly it'll probably be the last time I read them for awhile since that will be the end of the movies. Sniff. I don't know what makes these books so awesome or why I love them so much, but I do and they are and I CAN'T WAIT! Did I say that already? Well it's true!
     Okay, I'll calm down. But check out the preview if you haven't watched it already.

Sixteen-Year-Old Me Strikes Again

    
     Note to self: don't try to write while Camp Rock 2 is on TV in the background. I know I know, it's a slightly cheesy pre-teen movie. But it's no good trying to write a very important, gotta-be intense conversation between my hero and heroine while Nick Jonas is in the background singing about how he thinks cheese smells like feet. No joke. And FYI- the song is totally cute, really. (see below)

     It just proves the truth of my previous post (sixteen-year-old me vs. thirty-year-old me). Thirty-(one)-year-old me is trying to focus and be responsible, trying to get a thousand words written before it's time to make dinner. Sixteen-year-old me is wishing I was in the movie dancing next to Demi Lovato. Or at least dancing in front of the TV.
     Ah well, I finally gave up, mid-sentence, when I realized I had barely made it over 1,000 words. I'd been staring at the same sentence for more than ten minutes with no idea how to write what I was trying to say. Now I'm finding it just as hard to blog because the movie is still on. What can I say? I like teen musicals (although I prefer ones with Zac Efron in them over the JoBros). I just can't squash my sixteen-year-old self down. She's fighting her way out of me, trying to burst out with some poppin', lockin' and we're all in this together-in'.
     And then my two-year-old walks by, the smell of poop wafting over me, and sixteen-year-old me dashes back into hiding, holding her nose all the way. Ah well. That's the way it goes. I'll just have to remember tomorrow not to let my daughter watch any of her movies while I'm trying to write.

I Am Number Four and I Am Not Consistent

     Woo-hoo! I wrote more than two thousand words today. Woo-hoo! Oh wait, I said that already. Who cares, woo-hoo!
     It's funny, because if I really put my mind to it, I could probably write a book in two months, three max. Daze and Knights took me five but I hadn't even finished the first half in the first three. Book 2 has taken me WAAAAY longer but that's mostly because I keep putting it aside so I can re-edit Daze. And then I go in spurts, writing tons in just a few days and then nothing for like a week. If only I could be consistent. But sometimes writing falls by the kids/cooking/cleaning/reading/blogging/visitingteaching/querying/yougettheidea wayside.
     In another life, I live completely alone, have a maid and a cook, and have all day long to write zillions of books a year. I'm probably also very lonely and slightly crazy in that life. Ok, more than slightly. I'm slightly crazy now, so totally crazy is probably more accurate. Anyway, I guess I'll take what I can get. Trying daily to balance life as a mother and wife and all that entails, and writing. It's not always easy and I don't always succeed. But I'm sure as heck trying.

     I read I Am Number Four over the weekend. I've seen the movie and I found the book very similar. I like it when movies stay close to their book origins. I couldn't help but picture Alex Pettyfer throughout, although I think he'll be way better as my Alric than the alien John Smith. Voice was lacking through the book, but the storyline, and maybe the fact that I knew what was coming, kept me reading. So the book was okay, maybe not as good as I wanted it to be. But that happens sometimes when I see the movie first. I expect the book to be AMAZING, and sometimes it just isn't, probably because it has lost its newness. It was a good book though and if you haven't seen the movie, or even if you have, give it a try. I am interested to see where "Pittacus Lore" (I put his name in brackets because that's not his real name) takes the story. And reading it made me want to watch the movie again. Or maybe Alex Pettyfer's the reason. Ha! 

Me? Weepy? No Way!

     What is up with playlist? All of a sudden they decide to make 'licensing restrictions' and now the music won't play for me? Not cool. Not that I need the music, I have my iTunes playlist to listen to. But this past week without music on my blog has been weird. And not in a good way weird. After I'm done this post I'm going to have to find myself another site to use.
     And can I ask what is up with the ginormous zit that appeared just in time for my 10th wedding anniversary? I mean really. It's probably due to my query stress and the fact that this week has been busier than usual, but still. Oh well, my husband is stuck with me, huge zit and all, poor schmuck.
     Anyway, I read a great book this week: Revolution by Jennifer Donnelly.

     Right off the bat- great voice. The first lines: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, deejay." Totally, simply, brilliant. The voice really stood out and kept me reading, even when I had certain issues going on. This book took me through a range of emotions. At the beginning, I struggled with how suicidal the main character is. This just shows my very normal, trauma-free upbringing, but that's just not something I can relate to. I didn't get it. I didn't understand quite the despair she was feeling. I just kept thinking, geez this is depressing. By the middle of the book, I was totally into it as her depression lightens a teensy bit because she's distracted by this old diary she's found. The book goes back and forth between Andi (the MC) and the diary entries dealing with Alex- a girl alive during the French Revolution. (Of course I loved that since I love history of all kinds).
     Yesterday, I was reading the last half of the book, and I found myself almost... weepy. That might not be the best word since I don't think I've ever been weepy. But, I found myself on the verge of tears when I burnt two pans during dinner (stupid pork chop recipe), and again when my son held up his fork, a (barely) singed piece of pork sitting on it and said, "this is burnt pig".
     Then I'm at Walmart getting Easter stuff and I hear a young guy say hi to a young girl- both Walmart workers. Why did I get weepy at that? Well, who knows really, except the guy had a very pronounced limp- something more serious than a sprained ankle- and the girl said hi back so sweetly that my eyes started to sting.
     THEN, I'm talking to a friend on the phone, listening as she tells me of a certain trouble she went through, and I'm again trying to hold back tears so that my voice doesn't come out all weird ad squeaky.
     I mean SHEESH. I'm not pregnant, nor can I blame my weepy-ness on any other "female" related matter. I hardly ever cry for real. Sure, I easily cry during movies, tv shows, books, but never for real. The weepy-ness could have been due to stress, or tiredness.
     But I blame the book. The book had so many raw emotions, strong emotions, emotions that I've never felt before. And I think for some reason, they brought out all of my own.
     The book was really good. But I feel I should give this WARNING: Accidents may occur of an emotional nature while reading. Please prepare yourself accordingly- tissues, chocolate, a pillow to punch and/or scream into, a person to hug, or whatever else you might need to keep yourself from almost bawling in the Walmart check-out line. Read at your own risk.

Contest with YAtopia

     So I'm entering a contest today. I mean, why not? It's over at YAtopia. You enter in your pitch and the first line of your manuscript for awesome agent Natalie Fischer from Bradford Lit Agency to look at.
     While I'm unsure about my two-line pitch, and I'm trying to work on my hook for my query letter- which are really the same thing- I figured I'd enter the contest anyway because you just never know.
     If you're interested in the contest, head here:

http://yatopia.blogspot.com/2011/04/pitch-contest-with-natalie-fischer.html

     And check out YAtopia while you're at it, it's a great blog!
     And that's about it for today- I'm still stressing over my query which is probably why I have a major headache. Stupid query. You will be the death of me.

Help! I Need Some Query Help!

     So I've got issues. Which is, you know, obvious. Probably. My writing issues might not be quite so obvious though. First of all, I can't stop re-writing my first chapter (although I haven't in a whole month- gasp!). The other thing I can't stop re-writing: yep, my query.
     My first query sucked bricks. I know that now. Unfortunately, that's the one I've probably sent out the most. Lately though I'll get two or three rejections and think, I've got to rewrite my query. Or more like, "AAAAHHHHHHH! My query sucks! I've got to change it! Right now! AAAHHHHHHHH!"
     So I have three different versions, one of which I've never sent, one I've sent once (but haven't heard back yet) and one I've probably sent at most, five times. So it's not like these are exactly tested. I read somewhere that at every 20 rejections is when you should rewrite your query. (I'm obviously waaaay to obsessive-compulsive for that.)
     What I'm hoping for is some feedback. Even if it's just telling me which query you like best. Or if they all suck- cuz they very well could. Or what I'm missing. Or what's too much. Or if they make no sense. Or... well, you get the idea. And for your viewing pleasure, I've posted pics of my dream movie cast, cuz I like pictures to look at.
     So, anyone up for the task? Anyone? Bueller?

Jessica Jacobs (Samantha Munro)

Query #1

Sixteen-year-old Jessica Jacobs loves to daydream about being an actress, a socialite, a princess. Never in her daydreams is she forced to scrub poop off the floor by her awful boss (Lady Fiona). And never in her daydreams is she pursued by the creepy stalker guy (Lord Purvis) instead of the charming and swoon-worthy knight (Lord Alric). But how else did she end up in crazy medieval land, unless she’s gone crazy herself?

Crazy or not, the place has some perks. Like taking sword fighting lessons from Lord Alric, who is so hot he even makes decapitating another person look good. Falling in love with him would be a perk too if only he felt the same way about her. Instead Jessica has to deal with Lord Pervy’s cheesy pick-up lines and Lady Fiona’s stinky feet. It sucks being the peon instead of the princess.

With a battle looming, a mysterious traitor within the Court, and Lord Purvis going from creepy to downright freaky, Jessica wonders if her new (but very cool) sword fighting skills will be enough to keep her alive. Staying might cost Jessica her life. But going home to the world she knows means leaving Lord Alric- and that will cost her heart.

Lord Alric (Alex Pettyfer)

Query #2

Sixteen-year-old Jessica Jacobs never imagined that her daydreams would one day become reality. But this reality is something she never would have imagined. Instead of designer jeans, she’s wearing a potato-sack dress. And instead of Zac Efron, she has to deal with bad-breathed medieval knights aiming swords at her throat.

To make matters worse, she isn’t the princess in this daydream, she’s the peon. Between scrubbing poop off Lady Fiona’s floor, and dodging Lord Pervy, ahem Lord Purvis, Jessica barely has time to wonder if she’s somehow trapped herself in a daydream, or if this world is more real than she originally thought.

Then she meets Lord Alric. Suddenly finding a way home isn’t all that important anymore. Charming and totally hot, he’s exactly the kind of guy Jessica usually daydreams about. Just one problem: Lady Fiona is determined to marry him. And Lady Fiona gets whatever she wants.

But Jessica manages to get something she wants for once: sword fighting lessons taught by Lord Alric. Falling in love with him is easy. Dealing with revolts, traitors, battles, diva bosses, and stalker brothers so isn’t. Jessica is left with a choice: stay in crazy medieval land for a man who may not even be real, or go back to her boringly normal, Lord Alric-free life.

Lady Fiona (AnnaSophia Robb)

Query #3

Sixteen-year-old daydreamer Jessica Jacobs wakes up one morning in a forest surrounded by rotten-toothed medieval knights aiming their swords at her throat. They take her to Hampshire, a quaint medieval town complete with looming castle, a genial Count, and the Count’s cow of a daughter Lady Fiona. Jessica can’t help but wonder if she’s gone from daydream addict to trapped-in-her-own-mind mental patient.

Jessica barely has time to worry how she’ll survive without her iPod, French fries, and flushable toilets. Lady Fiona, her new boss, is a total cow, making her scrub poop, move her furniture around, and rub her stinky-feet. And then there’s Lord Purvis- Lady Fiona’s older brother whose creepy stalker ways have led Jessica to dub him Lord Pervy. Jessica just wants to go home before things can get any worse. If only she knew how.

Then she meets Lord Alric who definitely has that whole knight-in-shining-armor thing going on. He’s the perfect gentleman, so unlike the high school boys she’s used to, and he drives Jessica emotionally crazy. It’s hard learning how to sword fight from him when she can hardly focus in his presence.

With a battle looming, a mysterious traitor within the Court, and Lord Purvis going from creepy to downright freaky, Jessica wonders if her new (but very cool) sword fighting skills will be enough to keep her alive. Staying might cost her life. But going home to the world she knows means leaving Lord Alric- and that will cost her heart.

Lord Purvis (Ed Speleers)